Thor

Ok, despite what I am going to say below, I am a huge Thor fan, (I almost wet myself after the credits of Iron Man II)

Naturally, I was excited for a Thor film! My only reservation was on who they would cast as Thor.

Chris Hemsworth is a good choice as far as I am concerned.

Then I started to worry about the sets... often what may be cool on a comic book, may not transition well onto screen.

Epic?

Sure the above pic looks 'cool' as the kids would say, but can you really identify with characters that are presented like this?

Another concern about Thor was who would direct it? Thor is not any average super hero.
At first I was elated to find out the director was Kenneth Branagh, better known to stupid people as Lockheart in Harry Potter.

Branagh is a Shakespearean director, with is a double edged sword.

Only a Shakespearean director could capture the intricacies of the Norse Pantheon, or have them deliver the dialogue correctly.

On the other hand... its still a summer super hero movie, one that requires bad ass action scenes (followers of ole Bill tend to run a little weak in the BA department)

Its not a bad thing... but this will really hurt it at the box office. Its deceiving its target demographic a bit.

In the middle of the summer the first thing I want to do is run straight to a Shakepearean drama!

Even though I am saying all this, I still want the movie to succeed! I want to be blown away by it. I think the reason I made this was for me to rationalize why a movie about my favorite superhero could fail.

Segways

Ahhh... Where to begin


In the last few days I have seen segway gangs twice, and both time I have trembled in fear.

What is it that I hate about segways....

Ohh yeah... thats why

My hate for segways does not necessarily lie with the machine, but more with people who ride one, god forbid, own one.

Mostly bastards ride segways, that kind, with that look on their faces.
You know the one...

Stand aside mortal

   They are always too good for us 'walkers'
Even the concept of a segway is a little baffling, so you don't want to walk anymore
easy answer... Wheelchair, in fact a wheelchair is better than a segway for two reasons.

1. You are sitting
2. Sympathy points

As opposed to the two major points of the segway user

1. You are standing
2. Ass-hole points

Thats all I have to say about that for now..
Sorry if this one had bad flow/structure, I just had a long day of filming.

Comic Book movies (part 2)

The bad side


Ok, so last time I covered some examples of good comic book movies, now the bad ones.

It is always sad when a comic book movie fails, especially if the source material is good, point and case, Kick-Ass

Kick-Ass


I loved Kick-Ass when I read it, it is without a doubt a great story. The studios realized this, and tried to profit off it, before it even had an ending.

The first 75% of Kick-Ass is great, (except Nick Cage) and is some wonderful story telling. It just kept on getting better and better, the high point of the film being (SPOILER) Nicolas Cage's death.

Always the highlight of a Nicolas Cage film

Though Nicolas Cage aside, the movie managed to keep the somewhat brutal realism of the comics, no super powers or super technology happening.

In film, there is a thing called the circle of expectation. By the environment that surrounds the characters in a film we establish what their reality is, what is mundane, and what is impossible.
This tried and true method can help the audience believe the action on screen, even if it is a completely new environment.

But if you go outside the circe of expectations you betray the audience by being a lazy writer. Imagine if   when Luke faced Vader on cloud city, Luke just glared and his enemy and turned him to stone, we would all be pissed off.

Kinda like in Kick-Ass when...

Now, I am aware that it is hinted at before, but it still just was too far-fetched for me.

After a film where this kid is beat to nearly to death several times, where everything is realistic up until the point where this kid flies up in a jetpack with shoulder mounted mini guns. Then they proceed to fly around the city for what seems like 10 minutes, where as real jet pack can't even manage 30 seconds 10 feet from the ground.

If this kind of thing happened in Iron Man it would feel right in place, thats the kind of established world there is.

They just thought that this short of thing is cool, which it is no doubt, and the audience would not care because they are just a bunch of sweaty comic nerds who would be too busy thinking of ways to re-create it for PAX, than realize that it has no place in the story.

I for one will not fall prey.

Having said that, Kick-Ass is still not all that bad at all.

Some more that are not bad, just not fantastic

• X-men 3 - A very solid "mehhhh"
• Spider-man 3 - Still fun to watch, but has far too much going on in it to really get a feel for the character again
• Watchmen - A good film if you liked the source material, but alienating and confusing, and too slow paced for most audiences
• The Spirit - A good laugh if you go into it expecting one, it captured the pulp-ey feel of the spirit pretty well

Others that are just horrible

• Ghost Rider - Nicolas cage, nuff said 
• Daredevil - Despite the fact that a blind person is the ideal role for Ben Affleck, this movie just did not turn out well
• Fantastic 4 - I can't even think of a creative way to say it sucks
• Hulk - The main problem here is that director Ang Lee made an art film, not a superhero flick
• X-men origins: Wolverine - They took the only thing attracting comic fans to the movie (Deadpool) and completely destroyed the character
• League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - While the comic was great. This is trash.

Comic Book Movies (part 1)

Ok, to start off, yes, I am a huge comic nerd, and no, I don't hate every comic book movie,

but having said that, 

I tend to be pretty passionate when hollywood takes something I love, and defiles it.

Comic book movies are a win/lose situation, and they will get one of two responses from me.

1. Stare wide eyed at the screen, and almost have a heart attack of excitement when they make references to other comics.
2. Complain (as both a nerd, and a filmmaker)

Like every genre of film, there are good and bad examples, here are some ones that stick out in my mind.

Spider-Man (1&2) The first two installments of the spidey franchise are by far the BEST comic adaptations to date. All the characters are spot on to their comic counterparts, the acting is top notch, the writing is spectacular, and the icing on the cake? Bruce Campbell. 

The only man to ever defeat Spidey

  The only complaint I have about the first film was the green goblin costume, but that is really just nit-picking. 

Spider-man 2 never once gets the 'sequel blues' where things really slow down, it retains all the energy from the original. 

Iron Man  The first film to be made entirely by Marvel Studios, Iron Man in my mind really set the bar for the genre.

   It is a comic book movie that does not try to be anything else. Its as simple as that. An easy to follow story, cool action, and awesome characters.

There is no denying the fact that Robert Downey Jr. was put in the role he was born to play.

The man has enough money to buy Bill Gates & Lady Gaga

The sequel does not capture the excellency of the original, but is still good by any standard.

Here are some other honorable mentions:

• Sin City
• X-men (1&2)
• The Dark Knight
• Watchmen (only if you have read the source material)
• The Incredible Hulk
• 75% of Kick-Ass (the last part will be covered tomorrow)
• Scott Pilgrim vs. The World 

"Hey! Where is Daredevil? or Wanted? or Punisher?" You may ask. 

Fret not!! Lucky for you I will be insulting those films and more on my next post, where we will cover comic book movies that suck.

Corn dogs

Several days ago the I-house cafeteria special of the day was corn dogs.

And nothing says 'special' like a corn dog

The corn dog may even be a greater mystery than the hot dog, and one of the few things more disturbing.

Lets look at it like this.
Each of these elements by themselves are relatively harmless, but combined they create a deadly cocktail.

1. A basic hotdog. Ok, to my knowledge it is the staple food for New York City, and if a population like that can survive on them, they can't be so bad. (unless of course they have built up an immunity)
2. Cover it in Batter. Pushing it, but acceptable, not the healthiest choice, but if it is good enough for twinkies, its good enough for me.
3. Put it on a stick. Certainly not the classiest choice.

Even the name 'corn dog' is almost impossible to say without a southern drawl.

They are mostly sold at carnivals, where they make a lot of money, because well, a corn dog is the least frightening thing at a carnival. (more on carnivals in general later)

The true danger of a corn dog lies not underneath a golden bun, but as a gateway to other evils.

You may think. "I might as well have a corn dog." But don't fall prey! The previous statement can lead to other more dangerous ones.

"I might as well have a corn dog."
"I might as well start wearing wife beaters."
"I might as well marry my cousin."
"I might as well just leave all those car parts on the lawn."

This might be frightening, but it is for the greater good.

I leave you with something to ask yourself whenever you are considering comfort in a corn dog.

"Do I want a corn dog?"
the answer is:
"Do I want a successful life?"

The word hate

Well here is something I posted on facebook a while ago.

here it is.

I NEVER use the word hate in a serious manner. Hate is an absolute and as I will state later absolutes are the most dangerous thing facing humanity as a whole. To hate something means to do your best to destroy it with every fiber of your being, to hate something would mean that you derive the most pleasure possible from destroying the object of your hate.
That’s what hate is, don’t deny it. You may think “well I say I hate ______ all the time, but I don’t REALLY hate _______” If that is the case then don’t say you hate it, say you dislike it or something. It may not get the point across as well in conversation but that is because everyone thinks in extremes now. But at least you have honesty over emphasis on a point.
I myself don’t like everything, no human that I know of can. But I hate nothing. I may dislike things, but not hate them. I have been blessed in my life in two ways. One is I have never been in such a situation in my life to cause me to hate something. Two is I tend to find something I like about almost everything, and you can too. Really! Its easy, just start by noticing what makes you attracted to the things you like. When you can do that, start noticing pleasant things about objects you have no association with, like a random tree, or a person in the hall. When you can do that start looking at the good side of things you dislike. It works. Trick is, it only works if you let it. Imagine what a world we would have if more people thought this way!

I hate that people don’t think positively more often.

Hippy crap, I know.

The Maiden Blog

And, we set sail. With special thanks to Isaac Dayton, he is both a gentleman and a scholar. You can find his blog HERE.

We will often be referring to each others works.

Im going to give you the basics about me before we get started here.

• White, Male, Short, Brown hair. (so pretty easy to spot in a crowd)
• Liberal, from Fort Collins, Colorado
• Independent filmmaker (but I DON'T make indie films)
• Student at Academy of Art University in San Francisco

Got it?

Here are some things to expect on this blog.

• I am often rather opinionated, especially about TV and film
• Feel free to start an argument with me, I am always game for a healthy debate
• I will not however respond to 'youtube' comments
• My spelling is horrible, and I really don't care enough to change it, so no need to correct me in the comments section
• Posts may be infrequent

Now, as for the actual topics this blog will cover... well that would basically be anything on my mind.

Some examples might be:

• Film analysis, not the boring kind
• Random thoughts
• Sharing beautiful things to the world (for example)
• Observational humor
• Stand-up comedy material 
• Anecdotes
• Philosophy

So thats about it for the first post, I will post some philosophy I typed up a while ago to kinda get the ball rolling.